Day 7: Flex Days are the Best Days

We awoke this last morning in Canada in a somewhat foul mood (see previous, angry post about The BackUp plan). We decided that a free Dunkin Donuts egg sandwich (courtesy of mama Uttings gracious gift card) would fix the situation, so we looked up the nearest location, packed up the car, and headed out.

Then we ran into a series of set backs. First, Montreal traffic makes no sense. Delivery and construction vehicles stop in the middle of the street and apparently the right lane is for parking? We drove in circles for about 30 mins before deciding that the Dunkin Donuts was likely inside the mall, which is why we couldn’t find it from the street. After some angry gesturing from a cab driver Casually Kissing Cowboys and I headed in to stock up for our trip back to America.

Once locating the elusive DD we were told that:
a) they did not have 4 croissants
b) they don’t have chai or tea in Canada
c) they wouldn’t take our gift card

This set back led us to another American chain, Starbucks to get the drinks we desperately needed. The one redeeming thing about this morning was this hilarious graffiti:

So clearly, we needed a drink. We tracked down a vineyard famous for their ice wine. I wish I could capture the rap video gesturing we made every time someone said ice wine this trip. Instead ill give you this more polite picture of us with the actual wine:

Suavest of the Seas then led us through the border with slightly less anxious sweating than Techtalking and Walkin, even though I’m pretty sure neither one of them has even broken a law in their lives.

Back in gluttonous America, we headed straight for the Ben and Jerry’s factory. While waiting for our tour to start we read a little history of the dynamic duo that brought you Phish Food and Chunky Monkey. Apparently they’ve done a lot of good work around social awareness, fair work conditions and fair trade. Go you B&J.

We took a tour with a young, kinda nerdy guy who had clearly delivered all his lines way too many times as he rushed/mumbled through them all. Suavest of the Seas and I then spoiled our dinner sampling flavors unique to the factory.

Back on the road we saw some of beautiful Vermont.

Continuing on our unplanned Burlington stop we found a restaurant supplied by all local farmers for dinner. We realized then that the Burlington 4th of July fireworks were about to begin so we follows the throngs to the waterfront to see the spectacle.

Us New Yorkers were unfazed, unfortunately that was not the case for one very upset policewoman who kept starting fights with drunk people. What we witnessed next was hands down the best fireworks show any of us has ever seen. Seriously Burlington, you KILLED it. And this is why our flex day was the best day.

Traveling back to the car we decided to stop for a night cap to avoid this:

It was like a scene out of a zombie apocalypse movie. We survived though and found our way back to our favorite sleeping accommodations, the Holiday Inn Express.

All in all it was deemed a successful day and we can all agree we are now just a little more patriotic. Go America, and happy freaking birthday!

Forever Yours,
The Gringo Gaucho

Day 6: The Day the Hormones Won

So, this is the first thing I saw on Day 6:

I’m not sure what omen a flying porta potty foretold but I’ll let you decide for yourselves. We decided to go to the Montreal market in Little Italy, which resulted in us wandering around because our tour book lacked a map of that section.

However once we got to the market and suffered some really weird gluten free crepes, we were able to appreciate the wonderful displays of produce.

The weather wasn’t cooperating and most of us had been kept up all night by the Mad Hatter bar next door so we decided to take a mid-day break and watch the best movie of all time:

You would think that would be enough to warrant the title of this post but there’s more. Read on.

We decided to walk to the old city and finally found the solution to Suavest of the Seas’ constant hungriness:

We weren’t really feeling like doing anything after dinner so we went back to the apartment and watched the worst movie of all time:

It doesn’t even warrant a YouTube clip because it is so terrible. Basically, this movie taught us that once you’re pregnant you lose your sense of balance, eat chili with your hands, and justify your decision to get pregnant as a way to stave off loneliness because your grandmother finally remarried. The title of this post stems not from the lack of activities and extreme apathy with no firm decision making but from the fact that we wasted 2 hours of our time in another country watching this movie. And that’s how the hormones overcame all good sense.

Btw, shout out to whoever comes up with the best caption for this picture, seen in our wanderings through Little Italy:

Have a happy fourth of July and tune in tomorrow to read about our epic unplanned day in Vermont (amazing pics included).

Till next time,
Techtalkin’ and walkin’

Au Revoir Canada

For all of those concerned parents out there we officially just crossed back onto American soil.

We drove across the border singing this but with Randi’s extra made up line about president Lincoln:

Our sing along quickly switched over to “Don’t want to Miss a Thing” as we celebrated America’s finest things; Aerosmith, constant fear of Armageddon, and Ben Affleck.

We are so, so happy to have the data use back on our iPhones. After much discussing we unanimously decided Siri and the Google Maps app (available now through iTunes) are far superior to the GPS that came with the car. The arrow doesn’t rotate to reflect the direction you are currently driving, there is no voice accompaniment, and it lists the next steps FROM BOTTOM TO TOP! Who reads that way?

Most of the time we were in Canada we just felt like this:

Anyway, we’re happy to be back. Blogging will be easier now that we don’t have to rely on wifi so expect entries for Montreal soon!
-the Gringo Gaucho

Day 5: SOA Montreal

Bonjour!

We didn’t do too much today since everything seemed to take much longer than it should have. We started with breakfast in Quebec City near the Old City. It was delicious, although it took 40 minutes and 4 waiters to get my cup of coffee. After breakfast we continued our search for Canadian cash which proved to be just as difficult as the previous evening. It’s like they don’t want Americans to have their hands on Canadian bills. Where’s the loonies at?

Eventually, Techtalkin’ and Walkin’ located a banque and we were able to withdraw enough bills to pay to get our car out of the lot. We crossed the River St Lawrence and headed into the wilderness.

We hit the Canadian highway and noticed immediately that the landscape very closely resembled Texas…so we listened to the Dixie Chicks. We learned last summer that they really like country music there.

The rest of the afternoon was pretty much the same, except for the really exciting stretch of the highway in which we were weaving in and out of traffic with a Canadian motorcycle gang. The following picture doesn’t do a great job of showing how many of them were on the road, but is a testament to the highly organized and efficient manner in which MC clubs maneuver traffic. Jax would be proud.

While listening to Tori’s 90s playlist (because that’s what the iPod wanted) we reminisced all of our first CDs. In an effort to raise “class participation” we would like to engage you in the following activity. We are going to list 4 CDs and would like you to comment back by matching each road tripper to their first CD. This is an experiment to see how willing you are to play with us. If we get a lot of responses we promise to try and include more interactive actives in the days to come. The CDs are:

1) The Spice Girls Spice
2) The Fugees The Score
3) No Doubt Tragic Kingdom
4) Toni Braxton Secrets

and in case you’ve forgotten, we are:

1) The Suavest of the Seas
2) The Gringo Gaucho
3) Techtalkin and Walkin
4) Casually Kissing Cowboys

Arriving in Montreal, we found our residence for the next two days, an unfinished apartment building. Fortunately, our actual apartment was completed and furnished, even if the elevator was not.

We call him Cheeba Charlie.

We left to explore downtown Montreal, which led us to the delicious Burger Bar on a terrace overlooking one of Montreals pub lined streets. The food was delicious, as Randi said, “I could eat this chicken sandwich every day of my life.” The conversation was richer though as Randi and I planned two alternative bachelorette parties for Katie. One involves Vegas, the other Sanoma, but both include a road trip. We plan on pitching our official itineraries to Katie via prezi when we return to NYC. Thoughts?

While eating, we noticed a promising roof top bar across the way so concluding dinner we headed up to sit on the couches below the heat lamps (yes, heat lamps in July, welcome to Canada!) We were enjoying ourselves immensely, especially after it began to drizzle and they pulled a special awning over us, until an Alan Alda lookalike came over, poured us four glasses of Veuve Cliquot and then slurred a bunch of incomprehensible words to us while asking if he could join our party. We declined, and then ran to the street only to later wonder, “could that have actually been Alan Alda?”

We really hope not. Anyway, it’s time for bed so we can thoroughly explore Montreal tomorrow.

À demain!
The Gringo Gaucho